Worst soldier you’ve ever seen

I’m the worst soldier.

“Sweet, I’ve got an ATV,” I think to myself. “Time to go where the action’s at…. Should be a little quicker if I go off road…. Afterall, it’s an ‘all-terrain vehicle.’”

Cue death number one, wherein I plummet 100 yards down the side of a cliff.

I’ve been playing Planetside 2 for one hour. In that time, I’ve died six times, seen two enemies, gotten zero kills and blown up two vehicles (while driving them). I’m the worst soldier this planet has ever seen.

I know the other soldiers aren’t running into these problems, because I’ve seen some of my team’s other soldiers.  I’ve seen a group of them kill an enemy once. Yeah, they all shot him and stuff. I tried to help out, but only succeeded in shooting one of our own people.

I’m a sniper. Not because I’ve ever sniped, but rather because I carry a rifle that could potentially be used to snipe with. Much in the same way as in real life, I’m a professional chef; because I own a culinary knife set.

My general strategy is to drive around until I get close enough to where the map says there’s a conflict going on that I can look through my scope and not see anything.

I don’t blame me, though. I blame whoever drafted me into this war. Planetside 2 is a huge, complex game with hundreds of things going on at any given time across the planet and thousands of more things not going on, and the only real training you can expect before being thrown into the fray is what you’ll find on youtube.

I go to the right places. I know, because I hear gunfights and occasionally get killed out of the blue.  But there’s more to war than just showing up, apparently. There’s also dying.

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